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I'm the queen of the castle




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Oh for gods sake, Moff, really? [
02.05.2011: 10.39]
'There’s this issue you’re not allowed to discuss: that women are needy. Men can go for longer, more happily, without women. That’s the truth. We don’t, as little boys, play at being married - we try to avoid it for as long as possible. Meanwhile women are out there hunting for husbands.

The world is vastly counted in favour of men at every level - except if you live in a civilised country and you’re sort of educated and middle-class, because then you’re almost certainly junior in your relationship and in a state of permanent, crippled apology. Your preferences are routinely mocked. There’s a huge, unfortunate lack of respect for anything male.'


What even? XD

Poor Moffat, how does he manage to stay so brave? LIFE IS SO HARD SOMETIMES, PEOPLE!
4 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


Yesterday was just generally crap, honestly [
23.02.2011: 9.51]
[ mood | numb ]

Also yesterday, one of our dogs died.

Emma was wonderful; when we got her, she was so shy that she used to hide her head away under the couch cushions when she heard any noise over a whisper. She was my little sister's pet and only five months younger than mine. My specific dog, Rose Mary, was highly jealous that there was suddenly a new puppy around, but her best friend, my brother's cat Oliver, took Em under his wing (so to speak) and cared for her until she was confident enough to wander the house without fear. As a result, Em thought she was a cat for quite some time, which was all kinds of adorable.

We weren't quite sure how old she really was when we got her, so she was the only one who wasn't spayed quite quickly enough to avoid her being forced to experience a period. It was awful, she cried for ages. However, after that, she latched on to anyone who was feeling remotely ill and acted as a living hot water bottle. She never left our sides until we were well again, like a surrogate nanny.

She loved to kiss everyone she met. A woman once asked if we bleached our puppies, and Emma just smiled up at her instead of glaring up like Rosie did and I (which was what the woman deserved, I mean really).

I loved her wildly and am devastated that she's gone. She had been ill for a little while now, not quite able to walk as well, and she had stopped eating again, but it still came as a shock on the heals of everything else.

3 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


My childhood feels so much like a deranged story book sometimes [
23.02.2011: 9.28]
[ mood | drained ]

When I was very young, some time before I can remember clearly, my mother began telling us the story of her inevitable death. Both of her parents died during their thirty-ninth years, and, convinced as she was that this was an omen of a sort, she saw fit to warn us that we most likely would lose her before we were out of elementary school. She went over her various and increasingly strange funeral arrangement ideas over brunches, told us where she wanted her ashes scattered during shopping trips, and spent a great deal of our quality time explaining to me what happens as a body shuts down. The day she reached forty was as great a shock to my outlook of the way the universe worked as it was a happy surprise. It was also the day my parents finally woke to divorce papers after years under the threat of it, as if the universe was signally a new chapter was in order.

She was also a dedicated alcoholic, and so I spent my formative years being woven in and out of car crashes. I learned to hold on to familiar songs on the radio, that if it was late enough and you slept, you'd eventually end up home.

When my siblings and I were a little older, our mother began to spend major holidays and the occasional Pro-D day telling us how she was going to take matters into her own hands. Every Christmas dinner, there was a set script we followed: she would attempt to pick a fight with my sister, tell us how she had some form of terminal illness, usually a cancer, and then calmly explain how she was either going to jump off a bridge, take pills so she would sleep forever, or run off to the beach in the middle of the night and drown. It got to the point that I thought her invincible through the sheer number of possible deaths she had survived. Absolutely ridiculous, but invincible nonetheless.

All of which is to say, my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer a few weeks ago, and has now died. Her body was weakened by the chemo and, although she appeared to be getting better, she was actually getting worse. The doctor is puzzled, but they think it had something to do with her white blood cell count. It went very quickly and she died knowing she was extremely well-loved. I kind of like that she ended with a mystery that is never going to be solved, it lends itself well to the insanity of it all.

I don't like the idea of pretending someone who has died did only good. The terrible things, when you love and remember someone, are just as important in shaping who that person was. My mother was a wonderful, exhausting, extremely deranged person who helped to build my sense of humour, my yearning for adventure, and my sense that every day I live out a terrible/wonderful story.



Liza Jean Turner
1956-2011

5 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
19.01.2010: 22.35]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I'm in real need of a distraction from school/life, so a meme!

The first ten people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble of any pairing/character of their choosing. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level. Some other equivalent gift, like icons or mini-fanmixes or quickie meta, would make sense for people who don't write fic themselves. (Or if the writing doesn't come...)

You may get drabbles, or you may get chibis/sketches, depending on What I Feel Like. Or I can do meta-on-demand, if there's a question you're dying to hear me pontificate on.


You can ask for pretty much any fandom and pairing you think I subscribe to, or even not if you don't mind the drabble being a bit crap. At the very least, I'd be more comfortable with something I've at least read/seen/researched like a geeky schoolchild, but otherwise anything is fair game. (Some suggestions: Harry Potter; Doctor Who; Good Omens; Jeeves & Wooster; Red Dwarf; historical RPF or RPS; Discworld; Sherlock Holmes. But anything I've written/drawn/fangirled is fair game.)

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

P.S.: Hello, I've missed you all like mad. I'm so sorry I left; I'll never do it again!
P.P.S.: Proper post when I'm finished today's work.
P.P.P.S.: *clings*

2 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


House MD SPOILERS! [
07.02.2008: 12.57]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I have should probably be heading off for class, but a quick note here can't hurt.

The move has deprived me of both television and internet for the past two months, but I didn't really feel it until Tuesday when the last episode of House for awhile aired. My bloody laptop exploded before I could see it, so I've been desperately tracking down links that will work at school for days.


My point is, I finally saw Don't Ever Change this morning and...Collapse )

the leaves keep on falling


I'm stuck in a foreign class *cries* [
06.02.2008: 12.15]
[ mood | anxious ]

Oh god, help me. I've always been afaid I'd do this one day.

4 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


A quick hello, before I'm kicked off [
19.01.2008: 23.06]
I have done nothing for the past twenty-four hours but surf the internet and listen to this song
on repeat. Sadly, I think I've broken my family. I love this 'free time' concept. XD

I've been in a ridiculously good mood for the past week for no apparent reason, actually. It's a bit worrying, I suppose, considering how calm I usually am, but ah well. ^-^ I've somehow managed to melt the power cord for my laptop, and moved house in the last month, so I'll take my cheerfulness no matter where it comes from.

However, I really need to work on my essay a bit before I pass out, so I'd better stop this. G'night!
the leaves keep on falling


Delighted! *huge grin* [
19.10.2007: 19.46]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

*squeals like a school-child*

Dumbledore/Grindeldore is now apparently canon.

4 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
19.10.2007: 16.58]
[ mood | amused ]

You know, there are days where I'm not entirely sure why I watch 'Smallville'. It can occasionally be badly written, it more than occasionally leaves me muttering darkly about its soap opera worthy side-plots and, worst of all, it hosts Lana, who I've never managed to like in any capacity, in or out of the show.

And then there are the days slight spoiler for last night's episodeCollapse )

2 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


Shaking With Anger [
13.10.2007: 1.02]
[ mood | enraged ]

I've just come home from the theatre.

I don't think I've ever felt so much anger directed at a film before. Putting that aside though, I'm just, well, hurt. These books have meant the world to me since I was five or six years old; they changed how I wanted to read and write as I grew, even my basic perception of how the world could be seen, if I so chose. Without them, I don't know if I would have read the mythology or listened to the music that I did and that would have been horrible. They more or less helped to shape who I am now and these people have hacked them to pieces. They quite literally took something I hold as close to my heart as humanly possible and tried to break it. And frankly, I just don't stand for that sort of thing.

I feel violated right now (which is ridiculous as I know perfectly well that this isn't personal, but nevertheless) and I want to do something, anything to make sure as few people feel this way as I can manage. I'm not sure what would help though. A letter writing campaign? Helping to raise money for fandom to buy the film rights off of Walden? A support group? I've heard a few people are going to theatres where it's showing and handing out copies of the book, which I think is a brilliant idea. Would it work around here though?

I'll have to sleep on it, I suppose. Once I've managed to calm down I'll try to go over my thoughts, but for now they're bouncing through my head far too quickly to make much sense.

2 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


Finished. [
21.07.2007: 10.12]
... Wow, that was- wow.
3 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
23.06.2007: 9.20]
[ mood | chipper ]

Dear G-Mail:

Why do you insist on reccomending various SPAM recipes? I don't eat that, I never will and yet there's a link at all times. Obviously, you are a bit crazed and possibly can't take a hint.

No Love,

Me


Also, it's Saturday, it's Saturday, it's SATURDAY *squeals like a school-child* I can hardly breathe and I don't care.

the leaves keep on falling


[
26.05.2007: 11.45]
[ mood | refreshed ]

Do you know what I think I need right now? Maltese Falcon fic. Angry, hurtful fic of ow with Sam drifting in and out of love with Iva and Morris finding out when he brings a girl back to the office and yes. Which is all very odd as I haven't read that in ages, but the urge is so terribly strong right now. I blame class. XD I'm a bit surprised that I haven't found one yet, actually.

I think I might have to change my icons soon, these have been around for so long that I can't seem to remember where I found half of them. So: icon hunting season is open!

the leaves keep on falling


This neighbourhood grows stranger by the hour, I swear. [
25.05.2007: 13.17]
[ mood | confused ]

The neighbours next door seem to have suddenly nicknamed their little girl 'Lazy Eye'. I'm not sure when or, more importantly why they'd do this, but it seems to be catching on with the other children around here. 0_o

And now back to the essays that are evidently plotting against my poor mind and fingers. If any of you would like to distract me at any time, please do. Really, I'm happy to run the smallest errand, beta fic, run about performing my old 'circus act' for your entertainment, anything you need!

Why no, I'm not procrastinating, why do you ask? XD

the leaves keep on falling


Happy Victoria Day! [
21.05.2007: 16.28]
Everyone in the house, aside from me, has been deathly ill this weekend. My mother? My baby brother? The bloody dogs? All are dancing that fine, fine line between lying still forever and tossing up on my nice clean floor yet again. Much fun can had at their poor(ly) expense, truly. *grins* I'm on top of the world, despite how terribly I miss the classes that were cancelled for today.

I'm still trying to fix this up, but here's one of my 'random ficlets based off of facts I heard on QI' series. And it is a series, worryingly enough.

I think I may like torturing my characters a bit too muchCollapse )
the leaves keep on falling


[
13.03.2007: 23.18]
This video is just so beautiful...Collapse )


I am deeply in love with this. The flow and how well the music fits the clip and pretty much everything about it (not to mention the tiny fannish voice inside of me that's screaming about how much she likes that movie).

In fact, I plan to marry it, or at the very least carry on a torrid affair that ends and restarts once or twice every week. Psyche will understand, it's just a fun little fling!

ETA: All right, the video itself doesn't seem to want to work for me, so a link will have to do. Grrr.
the leaves keep on falling


[
13.03.2007: 4.08]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Truth be told? I'm a bit sick of manga.

And I feel awful about this, particularily with Sakura Con looming ever closer each day. I mean, it's more or less the thing I have in common with most of my day-to-day friends, but I'm exausted from trying so hard to push myself back into the frenzy I used to go into over them and that isn't doing anyone any good.

Therefore, I annouce my official break from anime and manga. Until the con, I'll be sitting back and worrying over silly show and book fandoms. I may even get back into my comic book obsessions (because, loathe as I am to admit it, I kinda, sorta miss them *sheepish*). This way I'll be fresh, relaxed and happy to get back on the bandwagon come April. I am a genius, obviously. Moo ha ha ha ha.

On another note, my zine is coming along beautifully. I'm so very proud.

the leaves keep on falling


[
31.10.2006: 4.41]
[ mood | cheerful ]

You know, looking back, I'm fairly sure one of the major reasons that I kept drawing up short heroine-wise when I first tried to move into 'officially grown-up' contemporary books was that I kept expecting them to be the sort of kick-ass girls that lived in my head from showtunes. Because, all right, they were also absolute crap for the most part, but I'd been expecting that; I think I just really wanted a few of those characters to sit up and realise that, instead of sitting back to watch their respective OTLs leave them in various ways and wallowing in a pit of tar-y, tar-y despair, they could go and find someone new (or several someones, if they wanted. My world contained no concept of whorish behaviour being a bad thing in the slightest for far too long XD) who'd love/entertain them for awhile. At the very least I wished that they'd learn to pout prettily instead of boring me to tears.

And also, err, hello. *waves sheepishly* I'm back and such, for good this time.

I've been trying to get into the heads of my NaNo characters by writing future!ficlets and I think (aside from one) that I've got them all down pat, but I've no actual plot this year. At all. *worries* I was going to do a Schoolboy Mystery In Space! type of thing, but then I figured out that the characters that really want to be written RIGHTNOWOMG are in no way space-brats, so I'm left with... nothing.

I fear, grawr. *g*

To round this off, a bit of an almost-but-not-quite-finished ficletCollapse )


I've a Halloween story brewing up as well which I'll post once I've had a bit of sleep. ^-^

Happy Halloween everyone!

the leaves keep on falling


[
17.12.2005: 0.10]
[ mood | crazy ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

As of this moment, I am nineteen. Scary, scary stuff. *grins*

I'll have a R/S fic finished in about an hour or so, so I'll put it up soon. ^-^

25 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
16.12.2005: 18.34]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Gah, I only seem to have another five hours of childhood left. I live in fear, seriously. ;)

Today I was informed by my mother that, as a birthday present, she intends to kill herself. Because it's not a holiday in my family if suicide doesn't come up at some point. *dies (in a good way)*

So, I went to The Chronicles of Narnia again. I'm just so glad it didn't kill me like I thought it might. Nothing was massacred and oh god, there was SO MUCH Peter/Edmund Liam Neeson!Aslan. *drools*

I feel ridiculously dirty saying that. XD

I'll give a proper review of all the movies I've been watching later tonight, but for now I must go eat cake. *cheers*

1 petal, and the leaves keep on falling


Eighteen days, eighteen days, eighteen days! *wild grin* [
29.11.2005: 14.55]
[ mood | cheerful ]

It's hard to believe that I'm less than a month away from being considered a true/complete adult in my country. I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to be expected to become some sort of sombre, responsible thing because honestly? I can't see me like that. I'm the bad seed/little sister type in my group, there's nothing that can be done about it now. *grins*

I'm a bit too hyped up on chocolate (oh caramel filling, how I love you so...) to give a proper review of Rent, except to say that I was the FIRST ONE there to the first showing at my local theatre. Ha!

Oh yes, and before I forget, sort me, if you would. Please? Pretty please?

And now I'm off to try to finish off my NaNo story and avoid the bunny nibbling on my feet about my MWPP fairy tale. Wish me luck!

5 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


*creeps in as quietly as possible and smiles prettily, hoping to magically win everyone over* [
08.11.2005: 1.31]
[ mood | creative ]

Hello! *waves cheerily*

Right, so: I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I'm not dead, I'm just in NaNo again (but I'm actually doing it [properly, I mean] this year, so naya-ha. ;) ) which is LIKE death. Only more so, what with the characters beating my brain in each morning, noon and night.

I feel the fact that I'm still madly in love with all of them says something about my inner state of mind. *grins*

If you actually want to subject yoursel;f to the horrors of my work when it's unedited, I'm posting at my writing journal, eriebirdaway. I must warn you brave souls though, my general, everyday mind works in random sections, so put that into context with something like an original novel attempt and you have tiny little excerpts from all over my story written at any given time. I've organised it a bit, but it's still fairly spoilerful so... yes. *beams*

So, how're all of you doing? I've missed you all so much, gah. LJ is my crack, after all... ^-^

2 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
26.10.2005: 2.26]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I can't explain it, but my love for Of Montreal has just randomly tackled me to the ground and is currently poking me in the stomach and giggling like a five year old. It's 2:30 in the morning, my cds are sadly lost and I am dying from withdrawal. Such woe, I shan't survive the night. XD

Have I mentioned how much I loved 'Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking'? Because I did, oh yes. (Yes, fine, I'm horribly addicted to Masterpiece Theatre. PBS is my FRIEND *blushes*). I'm not quite sure if it was my adoration of anything Sherlock Holmes or Rupert Everett driving the love, but GAH. It was so good and Watson's fiancée was useful, which won major points with me. However, this might just be my predawn babbling, so I'll wait a few hours until I've slept off a bit of my fangirlishness.

Also: *waves* Hello new people, how're you? I'm not making the best of first impressions, very sorry. I promise to try to make up for it in the morning. ^-^

9 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
22.10.2005: 2.11]
[ mood | sore ]

Dear Spine,

I just thought I'd let you know that my neck has officially exploded. Is this some sort of revenge for the years I had you carrying books and heavy bags around? I thought all this scoliosis nonsense ended when I was fifteen. It's extremely unfair of you to suddenly spring this on me out of nowhere.

We had a deal, you know. I would stop anytime you cried out for a bit of a break and you wouldn't leave me PRACTICALLY DEAD.

Ow. Make it stop, make it stop.

Yours,

Me


I've decided my spine must be punished in some way that doesn't actually hurt the rest of me. I'll figure out a way, just you wait...

4 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


A bit of a half-finished ficlet before I toddle off to bed [
20.10.2005: 2.49]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I've been reworking this for the past hour or so and it still doesn't sound right it parts. *sighs* Ah well, it's just a draft.

I'll finish it tomorrow and search for a beta, but in the meantime, here's what I have:

WorkingCollapse )

3 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
17.10.2005: 16.38]
[ mood | happy ]

You know, now that I listen to it, 'Jonathan David is my post-HBP Remus/Sirius\Tonks theme song (or at the very least one of the major ones). *hums happily*

Tonight, I babysit. *beams* The kids are adorable and it's only for a few hours, so I'm sure I'll survive with most of my sanity intact.

4 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
16.10.2005: 11.32]
[ mood | awake ]

My college has a community here... How did I not know this? I'm entirely out of the loop, obviously. *smiles sheepish*

Oh, but this will be fantastic! I can chat with random people and hang around there and such. I'm far too shy when I'm physically at the school to randomly chat, but this will work out fine. *excited*

I'm supposed to be going coat-shopping with my mother today, which is always entertaining if only so I can hide how I spent half of my coat money on books and cds. (I had to, they were calling out to me in the breeze every time I walked by). I'm hoping for something like this, except a bit darker. Or in green, bright, glorious green.

2 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


I come bearing, err, gifts? Well, pictures at any rate [
15.10.2005: 19.54]
[ mood | accomplished ]

You know, I'm really feeling the need to write an AU around my original idea for who the HBP was(/is, I'm not quite sure right now. Damn you, tenses, damn you). It's eating away at my mind and screaming, but I do not have the time for fic right now... Really, 'i must... resist... *grabs her notebook and half-heartedly scowls/tries not to grin at it*

Oh yes, and I have photographs! Of me, but I have a couple of my pretty front yard. ^-^

I'mCollapse )

...

So, onto plot bunnies and lurking through my flist. Because actual work is so overrated anyway. ;)

ETA: Fixed!

2 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


[
14.10.2005: 20.30]
[ mood | worried ]

Gah, I'm going to a writer's conference in less than a week. *boggles*

I have exactly six days to prepare something tangible for people to read. Not only written well enough for me not to burn it in a fit of nerves, but enough for actual Authors-Who-I-Respect/Worship and scary agent ladies who do this sort of thing for a living to glance through.

... I think I might just go hide under the computer desk for the next few weeks instead.

I suppose if I can't think of anything I could rework an old (read: from the dark years) story, but there's something in my mind that crosses that option out with a gigantic red X. Most of those were made into AU fics anyway, and really, the idea of saying 'Hello Mr Brooks, here is a slash fic of mine' makes me fear. Fear and giggle hysterically.

Hide me?

5 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


Voice Post [
13.10.2005: 12.27]
VoicePost
126K 0:38
(no transcription available)
5 petals, and the leaves keep on falling


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